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Re: re: "Hey sexy" Your response demonstrates EXACTLY the attitude that is the problem here! Men (not all men, but an overwhelmingly large group of them) feel entitled to express how they feel about any woman, at any time, so much so that even women have fallen prey to this warped power game ("Of course she got harassed, fuck tonight Granville Ohio she was wearing a skirt! At night! And walking alone! What was she thinking?") How dare you tell me that I should not feel vi independent escorts in Womens Bay AK, Eagle MountaUT, ODonnell, Haines AK, Boxford MA, Bangkok olated or objectified! It's MY fault for being upset when someone else says something offensive to me? And why should I look at it from the other person's perspective? This is not an equal scenario -- men hold the upper hand in making women feel intimidated on the street. I noticed that you used "he or she" to describe the hypothetical cat-er, but in almost all scenarios, street harassment does not come from women (and even if it does, the woman is rarely in the position of making a man feel unsafe). In general, women do not have the same feeling of entitlement to comment on someone's appearance in an unsolicited manner. The year is . We are not cavemen. You can fight the "primal urge" to pay an unwelcome "compliment" to someone. Don't get me wrong, it's one thing if you're at a bar, club, or other social situation. Or if you strike up a conversation on the subway or other public place in a friendly manner. It's another thing to decide that simply because I am here, you may shout your assessment of me. Bottom line, when I'm alone at night, "nice shirt" and "hey sexy" IS intimidating. Sure, maybe some men are genuinely trying to be nice...but how am I supposed to know which is which? If you weren't going to bother to actually talk to me in the first place, just keep your compliments to yourself. -------------- I realize that this was kind of an extreme situation (you were visibly upset, so he was really being massively insensitive), but honestly, I think "violation" and "objectification" are not necessarily the things to put the spotlight upon, when it comes to the usual cating scenario. I mean, see it from the other person's perspective. He/she sees somebody who looks good, but is probably either aware (especially if it's a guy) that a random pickup attempt wouldn't work, or else just doesn't want to bother. But he or she still gets that powerful feeling of attraction, and wants to express it. If it's something like "Hey sexy" or "nice shirt," it's generally not presenting any kind of a threat, and hard to really conceive of as true violation. As far as objectification goes: hey, it happens continually, again to both genders (tilting more toward women of course, because of the way male desires work); some people become an object of desire more than others, and sometimes it's left silent rather than brought into the open, but it happens either way. Almost all of the missed connections section is even built on it, at least the ones along the lines of "I liked your eyes/shirt/body/book from afar." Again, I know that what you experienced was the among the more tasteless forms of what's already a pretty primal expression. But in a more typical instance, it'd be best to just take it for exactly the latter: a primal urge, present no matter what, that's made to break the surface through words. Anxiety will probably happen, but that's very different from actual danger or ill will.
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